Wisdom for dads raising daughters - blog by QueenBee

Harry Harrison wrote a book for fathers on raising daughters. It is an amazing sentimental read and I think most of us will at least learn a little something from it. Here are my favourites:

1. Accept the fact that [your little girl] will melt your heart anytime she chooses.
2. Take part in her life now. Don’t wait until she’s 15 to try and develop a relationship.
3. Teach her to count. First her fingers. Then flings, M&Ms, dandelions, and fireflies.
4. Resist the urge to buy her the world.
5. Trust her mom to understand the mystery of little girls. You have yet to figure out the mystery of big ones.
6. Never, ever, make fun of her.Never forget that supportive fathers produce daughters with high self- esteem.
7. Give her a picture of you to put in her first purse. If you’re lucky, she’ll always carry a photo of you.
8. Don’t tolerate her temper tantrums. Not now. Not when she’s 15.
9. Little girls are fascinated by escalators. Make sure you hold hands.
10. Make her a Valentine’s Day card—every year.
11. Take her for a walk in the woods. Show her what poison ivy looks like, how to cross a stream, how to find her way back.
12. Let her teach you. About what she learned in school today. About the Pilgrims, or multiplication, or manatees. How to sing her favorite song. How to bake a cake. How to braid Barbie’s hair.
13. Praise her often. Let her know you love her the way she is. If you tell her this often enough she might remember it throughout adolescence
14. Make up stories to tell each other at night. Stretch her imagination.
15. Surprise her by showing up at her school for lunch, bearing Happy Meals or pizza.
16. Remember, society is teaching her its values 24/7. You need to be more determined to teach her yours.
17. Never permit her to talk back rudely—to you or to her mother. Or anybody else, for that matter. 
18. Teach her patience, kindness, and tolerance. If you don’t, many years from now you’ll wish you had.
19. Never laugh at her dreams.
20. Take her out of town to somewhere she’s never been. This will develop her sense of adventure.
21. Don’t miss a recital, concert, play, or any other performance of hers. Not now. Not until she graduates.
22. Encourage her to be kind. Even to the girl nobody likes.
23. Make sure she can reach you 24 hours a day.
24. Accept the fact that the loving, tender angel you’ve spent the last decade with may disappear sometimes. She will return.
25. Get to know her friends.
26. Remind her that the most sacred thing between a father and daughter is trust.
 Drive the car pool. You’ll learn firsthand what she’s doing each day.
27. Girls this age can be uncomfortable stating what they really need. More often than not, she needs you to be a parent. 
28. When she’s particularly angry, sit down with her and have her try to describe what’s going on. Remember, the longer you listen, the more you’ll learn.
29. Don’t subscribe to magazines that exploit women. It makes a statement about how you view all women.
30. If you don’t approve of the way she looks before she goes out, send her back to her room to start over. Be gentle but firm.
31. There will be days when you think you’ve raised an alien. Those are the same days she feels she’s being raised by one.
32. The day she’s born, ask God to guide you in all aspects of raising her.
33. Take her to church . . . every week. She may not share your enthusiasm, but after 18 years, the message will have sunk in.
34. Forgive her when she seeks forgiveness. This is the best way for her to learn to forgive others.
35. Teach her to pray for her enemies. This could possibly include a rotating cast of classmates and ex-boyfriends.
36. Persuade her to buy gas when the fuel tank level is at a quarter tank, not when the needle is buried and the car is riding on fumes.
37. Odd-looking boys will start showing up at your house. This is to be expected because adolescent boys are odd-looking.
38. Let her see, by the way you treat your wife, the way a man is supposed to treat a woman.
39. Teach her how to look a boy in the eye and say “No.”
40. If a boy pulls up and honks for her, go out and have words with him. Explain that your daughter answers to a doorbell.
41. Don’t let her moods or anger push you away. She needs you now more than ever.
42. Be firm about maintaining family traditions. They will become more important to her than either of you can imagine.
43. Take long walks with her. If you just listen, she’ll eventually tell you everything that’s on her mind.
44. Teach her to respect herself.
45. Don’t let her miss school to get her hair done for a party. Unless all you want is a party girl.
46. There will be times when you’d rather stick needles in your eyes than have a particular conversation with her. This is when you must act like a father.
47. Prepare for the day when you’re not the most important man in her life.
48. Tell her the three keys to wisdom: not believing all you hear, not spending all you have, not sleeping all you want.
49. Have a look around her room. Take a moment to look at her pictures, her photos, her keepsakes. These are her memories. This was the childhood you gave her.
50. Tell her she is the daughter you always dreamed about

I would love for you to share some of your favourite memories about something your Dad said to you, investing in your future and self esteem. Even though this post is aimed at dads raising girls, the same counts for grandfathers, uncles and teachers. I will start the comments with a memory of what my dad said to me. As with many men from his generation he (still) uses less words, more action, so when he said something like this I knew he was pondering on it for a while. And if he said it more than once I usually knew he was still trying to find a better way of expressing himself.... so my affirmation was... “Guys would love the fact that you are adventurous and always game for fun” – thank you dad!

Harry Harrison Father to Daughter: Life Lessons on Raising a Girl affiliate linkhttp://www.kalahari.com/Books/Father-to-Daughter

Image from: 4.bp.blogspot.com